A minister while performing the opening ceremony of a newly opened bridge,looked down from the bridge and asked with surprise , "Secretary ,where is the river ? " Sir , to be provided in the next five year plan,"replied the secretary.
Ram:the boat is full of water.There is a hole in the boat. Sham:Make another hole to let it out.
Friend:"Which toothpast do you use?"
Gopi:"Babu's"
Friend:"Which Soap do you use?"
Gopi:"Babu's"
Friend:"I have never heard of this brand before"
Gopi:"He is my room-mate"
On his first day in New Delhi, a japanese tourist hired a cab to go to the airport.During the journey, a honda drove past. The japanese leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled"Honda very fast ! Made in Japan ."
After a while,a Toyota sped past.'The Tourist yelled Toyota,very fast ! Made in Japan." And then a Mitsubi shi sped past the taxi.
The Japanese again shouted."Mitsubishi,very fast ! Made in Japan " The driver got pissed off but kept quiet.And this went on for quite a number of cars.
Finally,at the airport the driver told him that the fare was Rs 800.
The Japanese exclaimed."What ? So expensive!"
The driver yelled back ,"Meter very fast ! Made in India.
Inspector:Did you Catch the robber?
Constable: No,sir.But I have his fingerprints.
Inspector:Excellent ! Where are they ?
Constable: On my Cheeks.
All the Children had been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade each of them to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be look at it when you are all grown up and say,"There's Jenniffer:she's a lawyer" or "That's Michael.He's a doctor."A small voice at the back of the room rang out,"And there's the teacher .She's dead."
Daughter:father,when Shri Ramji was sent to exile for 14 years , why did Sitaji choose to go with him and not stay on in Ayodhya?"
Father:"Because she wanted to be with her husband,"
Mother: "The real reason was that she did not want to live with three mother's in law."
Hey,mom,"asked johny,'can you give me 20 dollars?"
"Certainly not."
"If you do,"he went on ,"I'll tell you what did said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop."
His mother's ears perked up and.grabbing her purse , she handed over the money ."well? whwt did he say?"
He said,"Hey,Marie , make sure you wash my socks tomorrow."
Raju:"Mummy , why do you have some grey hair?"
Mummy : "Because of the worries caused by you." Raju:"oh ! Then you must have been terrible to grandpa"
Teacher:when was Louis XVI born?
Kapil:On his birthday.
Man: Oh God,what are 1000 years for you?
God: Just 'a second'.
Man: And what are a million rupees for you?
God: Just 'a paisa'.
Man: then give me a paisa.
God: wait 'a second'.
Father: I am buying a TV set on installments.So we'll have to cut down our expenses.
Mother: ok,I will stop buying magazines.
Father: I will stop going to office by Taxi.
Son: And i will stop going to school
Three Brothers were riding triple seat on motorcycle when a traffic cop stopped them and asked their names.
First brother: My name is Ram.
Second Brother: My name is Laxman.
Third Brother: My name is Bharat.
On hearing this , cop said : Your father name must be Dashrath.
All the three brother's said: How do you know sir ?
The Cop replied: Because I am Ravan, now come with me to lanka.
A young buisnessman had just started his own firm.He had just rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. He saw a man coming into his office. Wishing to appear hot spot, young buisnessman picked up the phone and stared to pretend he had a big deal working and made giant commitments.Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor,"Can i help you?" "Yeah,I've come to activate your phone lines.
A little boy went up to his father and asked : Dad ,where did all my intelligence come from ?
The father replied : " well son ,you must have gotten it from your mother , because I still have mine.
Son: "daddy , have you ever been to egypt."
Father : "No , why do you ask that"
Son: "Well , where did you get mummy then.
John: After i die, you must marry Mr. Smith
Susn: But he is your biggest enemy.
John: Yes, I want to take revenge on him.
